Steak and Noodle Stir Fry: When the days are long and they just get longer

For CLH - thank you for suggesting the honor jar.

Because Daughters go to a year round school we have a 3 week spring break. Unlike the summer break of 5 weeks where I usually plan something like camp, or Christmas break of three weeks where we go somewhere on vacation, our spring break tends to be "stay-at-home" heavy.

Stay at home with Daughters translates into MAYHEM. The periods of peace (short periods) were engulfed by periods of bickering, tattling, and overall unpleasantness. Visions of a very unhappy mother when puberty, adolescents and PMS enter the home haunted me and I knew that I could not fathom more time with these two at each other and my own throats. I often felt that my last nerve was being stomped on by two rambunctious, albeit small elephants who just would not leave my last nerve alone.

Then Son (who attends a different school) ended up on vacation, and the minutes of peace in a day dwindled away to mere seconds. Husband would come home from work and ALL Children would jump to him, happy to see him, cuddling him and oozing over him, and Husband could not UNDERSTAND why I looked strung out, anxious and completely exhausted. Hey - you try getting all three to do what you want, when you need, and to keep the house relatively neat. Hmph.

I knew that things could not continue along this vein, and I knew that I wanted some sort of positive reinforcement for behavior, versus something punitive, like "Stop hitting your sister. Now go sit in the corner for 10 minutes." If I was going to go punitive, I would be spending the ENTIRE day punishing Kids and spend very little time reinforcing the good. I needed some sort of solution only I wasn't sure what it was.

Enter the Honor Jar. Suggested by my friend CLH, who had seen tremendous transformation of her own two girls from using one, it was like the beam of light that I needed. Often times "jars" have to do with penalties (I have one in my classroom for leaning on the chairs - charging $.25 for leaning) and aren't about filling them up for good. The Honor Jar comes with the idea of filling up for GOOD and I loved it. At the end of the day, Children and I gather around and share the different ways we saw others honoring and being honorable.

The day before I actually implemented, I spent time with kids trying to talk about what we were going to do. I like a good warm up before change and I knew it'd be helpful to discuss before actually slamming down the jar and saying, "FILL THIS WITH YOUR KINDNESS AND GOODNESS!" It allowed me time to get my head around how to reinforce things, like saying "Wow, that was so kind" or "Buddy, that was way honorable" or "That's just great" so that Kids could also understand what were the behaviors I was looking for. This website also had some great posters where they clearly outlined what was acting with honor, what obeying looked like, and how to have a good attitude. I printed them out and reviewed them with Children as well.

Today we started our jar, and it was interesting to see how much Daughter #2 transformed. Her quick temper immediately seemed to mellow and her normally sweet nature seemed to appear. She was extra helpful to Son and especially helpful to me. I don't believe that she was simply pandering to me in order to get recognition, but rather she made the connection that her good behaviors and attitudes were far more desirable than her spastic, whiny, less-pleasant behaviors.

After dinner and before bed today Children shared what they thought was honorable and it was amazing to see what they picked up on in terms of behaviors. Son's were definitely the most immature and simple "Sister #2 helped me with my reading" while Daughter #1 had more complex ideas of being honorable: "Sister had a good attitude when she was told no." I'll keep you posted on how the behaviors change, as my friend said it took a good two weeks for behaviors to really settle down and form. I'm looking forward to it.

In the meanwhile, enjoy this wonderful dish. After an exhausting time referee-ing the kids, it was a welcome respite to my day last week. I think I needed the sturdier reinforcement of beef because I have to say, it was substantial and satisfying. I had it with some chopped cucumbers on the side, which are currently Son and Daughters favorite vegetable.

Flank Steak Noodle Stir Fry
Serves 4 to 6

Ingredients
1 lb spaghetti noodles
salt and pepper
vegetable oil
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 lb flank steak, cut into two long strips with the grain
3 scallions, chopped
6 garlic cloves, chopped
2 tablespoons grated ginger
½ cup + 2 tablespoons water
¼ cup oyster sauce
¼ cup reduced sodium soy sauce
¼ cup unseasoned rice vinegar
1 ½ tablespoons toasted sesame oil

Method
Cook noodles according to package directions, about 1 minute less than is asked for. (If spaghetti needs to be cooked for 9 minutes, only cook for 8)

Heat 1 teaspoon vegetable in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Season flank steaks with salt and pepper and cook in pan until charred in spots, about 5 minutes per side. Remove from pan and allow to rest for 10 minutes.

Whisk in a bowl or measuring cup water, oyster sauce, soy sauce, rice vinegar and set aside until needed.

While steak rests, wipe out skillet and heat 3 tablespoons vegetable oil over medium heat. Add scallions, garlic, ginger and stir for 1 minute. Add noodles and begin tossing in oil. Add soy/oyster sauce mixture to noodles and toss until coated and sauce is reduced.

Slice steak across the grain into thin slices, and add to noodle mixture. Give a final toss, and serve hot.

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