Izz gave me the sweetest hug this morning, which happens quite often these days. But today was different because we happened to be sitting in front of the wardrobe mirror, and we caught our smiling faces smooshed together. This made both of us laugh.
Then I caught my grays in the mirror. I'm totally ok with my grays, but they did serve in that moment a very real reminder that these days won't last forever. Not just a realization that our kids will grow up one day, but a much heavier moment in which I fast forwarded to a day when I would no longer be here - not with, or for, any of my family.
It's everyone's reality. And it's for the best that these things don't occur to us that often.
But it's also for the best that these things do occur to us every so often, because they remind us to live better the life we've got left.
The only useful thing to do with such moments is something good.
So I hugged Izz a little tighter, took in her sweet face a little longer, and decided we'd do some little good thing not to waste the gift of being starkly reminded how precious our moments are.
And off to surprise Dean for lunch - something I haven't done in the longest. Lengua and carnitas street tacos for me, a ginormous carne asada burrito for Dean, and some of whatever we were having for Izz at La Perla TapatÃa, a little gem of a local Mexican market, bakery, and restaurant right across the street from Dean's office.
Oh, and a blue truck for Izz as well. She loves automobiles, and I love to ponder what it is in her soul that makes her love them so.
And then a visit to the Last Chance at Life thrift that I've been meaning to check out forever. A buck spent on some Allende and Bradbury for me - part of my new year's resolution to read hard copy (and smell musty old pages) again - and a sheet of Halloween stickers for Izz, the latter which inspired Izz's first improvised song that went something like, I LUH da Tattoween! Tattow-tattow-tattoween!!!
Which pretty much laid any of the past week's restlessness about things like "work" and "career" to rest for the time being. Old habits die hard, but she has this way of keeping me still and making me like it in spite of myself.
And off I go to make executive decisions about some ribeye and asparagus...
shinae
Then I caught my grays in the mirror. I'm totally ok with my grays, but they did serve in that moment a very real reminder that these days won't last forever. Not just a realization that our kids will grow up one day, but a much heavier moment in which I fast forwarded to a day when I would no longer be here - not with, or for, any of my family.
It's everyone's reality. And it's for the best that these things don't occur to us that often.
But it's also for the best that these things do occur to us every so often, because they remind us to live better the life we've got left.
The only useful thing to do with such moments is something good.
So I hugged Izz a little tighter, took in her sweet face a little longer, and decided we'd do some little good thing not to waste the gift of being starkly reminded how precious our moments are.
And off to surprise Dean for lunch - something I haven't done in the longest. Lengua and carnitas street tacos for me, a ginormous carne asada burrito for Dean, and some of whatever we were having for Izz at La Perla TapatÃa, a little gem of a local Mexican market, bakery, and restaurant right across the street from Dean's office.
Oh, and a blue truck for Izz as well. She loves automobiles, and I love to ponder what it is in her soul that makes her love them so.
And then a visit to the Last Chance at Life thrift that I've been meaning to check out forever. A buck spent on some Allende and Bradbury for me - part of my new year's resolution to read hard copy (and smell musty old pages) again - and a sheet of Halloween stickers for Izz, the latter which inspired Izz's first improvised song that went something like, I LUH da Tattoween! Tattow-tattow-tattoween!!!
Which pretty much laid any of the past week's restlessness about things like "work" and "career" to rest for the time being. Old habits die hard, but she has this way of keeping me still and making me like it in spite of myself.
And off I go to make executive decisions about some ribeye and asparagus...
shinae
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