Are Chinese Mothers Superior?

There is a lot of buzz about the provocatively-titled Wall Street Journal article, "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior," written by Professor Amy Chua of Yale Law School. But despite the outrage expressed in the ever-growing comment section of the article, what the Korean found interesting is this: in a poll accompanying the article asking the readers to choose between "permissive Western" versus "demanding Eastern," nearly 60 percent of the readers chose "demanding Eastern." Of course the question in the poll is not a fair question. But it was still interesting to see where the majority was when the push came to shove, even after Prof. Chua made the "Eastern" method of parenting style harsh and borderline cruel.

If you are wondering what the Korean thought about that article, this post and this post should give you a hint. Just a few more fleeting thoughts after scanning the comment section of the article...

- Why do people assume that Asian children, raised in the mold of Asian-style parenting, are never ever happy? Have they ever been Asian children? Where do they get off telling children what to feel? And why do they stupidly insist that children should be happy at all moments, all the time?

- Why do people always bring up "lawyer at a big law firm" as a job that they do not want because people must be miserable? The Korean is a big law firm lawyer, and he can tell you -- the grapes are sweet, delicious, and only just a tiny bit sour (mostly when he has to work on a weekend.)

- The Korean will leave you with the words of Dr. Jim Yong Kim, president of Dartmouth College:

I said, "Dad, I'm so excited about my studies at Brown. I think I'm going to major in philosophy." So my father slowly turned the car and put it off to the side of the road, he looked back at me and said: "Hey, when you finish your residency, you can study anything you want." He said: "Look, you are a Chinaman" -- that's how he used to talk -- "You're a Chinaman. And you are not going to make it in this world if you study philosophy. If you think this country owes you anything, you're crazy. You have to get a skill." I ended up doing Ph.D. in anthropology on top of doing my medical degree. But that advice I think was very important, and I find myself giving that advice to students today. You know, it's great to have all these great ideals. But when you go to Haiti, when you go to Africa, they don't ask you, "How much do you feel for my people? How much have you studied?" They say, "Have you brought anything?"

-EDIT 1/11/11- The Korean Wife's response after reading the article: "All I know is that if Mrs Chua was a mom of one of my students, I would love her. :)" Classical musicians are merciless.

-EDIT 1/12/11- Commenter Hasani brought up an excellent point:

[O]ne of the things about "Asian-style" parenting that I think is overlooked quite often by others is that it is an extraordinary tool for upward mobility from poorer backgrounds. Often people talk about how they're just as successful as someone else even though they didn't have as strict parents, but usually these people come from upper middle-class homes and had access to resources many of their Asian counter-parts didn't possess. The importance of a good job is multiplied a hundred-fold when you're familiar with what it is to be poor.

-EDIT 1/13/11- The Korean really wanted to not spend too much energy on this, but it appears that this will be the defining Asian American story of 2011. New York Times now has several stories dealing with this issue. Well then. The Korean's fuller and more formal response is coming soon.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

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